Esme's Slip Up
by Mrs.CarlisleCullen831
Summary: Look Through Esme Cullen's Eyes As She Is Asked To Recount Her Worst Nightmare, The Day She Drank A Human's Blood. Rated M Just In Case.


**Esme's Slip Up**

I sighed happily as I sunk into the couch in the middle of our crowded living room. The new additions to our family, Renesmee and Jacob, didn't bother me at all; in fact, it pleased me to see my family grow even larger.

I gazed around the room to take in my family's presence. Rosalie and Emmett were curled up together in the loveseat. They looked so perfectly at ease. Emmett, with a big grin on his face, had his arms wrapped loosely around Rosalie's waist while she sat in his lap. She was faced away from the window so every time she moved, which was rarely, the sun would glint off her hair.

Alice and Jasper were sitting at the foot of the stairs. Jasper was sitting on the second step leaning back against the third. Alice was cozily sitting on the first step with her head rested against Jasper's chest. If I didn't know better I would have thought that they were both asleep.

Edward was sitting at his prized piano playing my song. His wife, Bella, was sitting beside him on the stool holding a very hyper Renesmee. Jacob was sitting on the floor by the piano watching Renesmee intently.

I had left the most important person for last, Carlisle. He had just walked down the stairs from his study and sat beside me wrapping his arms around me. His light blond hair was tousled and out of place. I figured it was because of all the research he was doing on Nessie. I could just imagine him sitting behind his cherry wood desk reading a book that he has already read a thousand times while running his hand through his hair in frustration. His usually golden eyes were now a pitch black abyss waiting to suck me in. His clothes looked almost as ruffled as his hair. I knew that once we figured out everything about Renesmee that Carlisle and I would leave to go to our island.

"What are you thinking, love", Carlisle whispered softly into my ear.

"Nothing, just thinking about how lucky I am", I whispered back to him and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Why don't you go ask her", I heard Edward whisper.

My brow frowned in confusion. I was even more confused when little Nessie came bouncing up to me. I laughed internally. Nessie might have the facial features of her parents but she had the energy of Alice, the seriousness of Jasper, the giddiness of Emmett, the beauty of Rosalie, the compassion of Carlisle, and the curiosity of Jacob. Everyone also says she has my kind heart. I do agree that she has a kind heart but I don't know if she gets it from me.

"Grandma Esme, this might be a bad memory but could you please tell me about the time you", she paused looking for the right word, "slipped around a human", she added quickly and shyly.

With only those few words my great mood turned completely upside down. My mind replayed the moment as if it were yesterday.

"Esme, you don't have too", Edward said after reading my mind.

"It's fine Edward."

He sighed and nodded going along with my plan.

I leaned into Carlisle even more making sure that I didn't sink too far into my memories. I closed my eyes and starting recalling the horrid event.

_My beautiful family I thought as I moved from behind the camera to stand in between my boys._

_Edward was to my right and Carlisle was to my left. Edward had become like a son to me. He reminded my so much of my son, William. In my human life I had married an abusive husband named Charles Evenson. He would beat and rape me until I was to the brink of death every night. One day I foolishly found the courage to leave him. I fled to the town where my parents lived and begged them to take me from him._

_My mother didn't and wouldn't agree with that. She simply told me to shut my mouth and be a good wife. She told me that if I did that it wouldn't hurt anymore. I didn't like this idea at all, but I did it._

_Charles and I made our way to our little home. As we did so Charles didn't seem happy at all. He would occasionally glance over at me and glare like only the devil could. I knew I was most likely to die that night. I didn't though. Charles beat me for the longest time. It seemed as though a full twenty four hours had passed before he stopped and began to rape me for the remaining day._

_I awoke the next morning sore, tired, and very nauseated. After getting dressed and eating breakfast, I made my way to the bathroom. As soon as my foot crossed the threshold I was over the toilet throwing up. I knew that I had needed to see a doctor immediately. When I was finished in the bathroom I called the doctor's office to make an appointment", in reality I smiled and pressed into Carlisle even more, "A female answered the phone and told me that doctor Sammuels wasn't in that day and that Doctor Cullen would see me._

_I made my way to the local clinic. Within thirty minutes, I was in the clinic and sitting on a stark white bed in an off white room waiting for Doctor Cullen. My nerves were very frail at this moment. I remember that every five seconds I would fidget or move in some way._

_Then God himself walked through the doors and floated gracefully to my bed. He was gorgeous. His hair was a soft blonde and tousled every which way, it only highlighted his already piercing golden eyes. He was incredibly pale with soft but straight features. His shirt was strained over his well-developed chest and arms. If I was dreaming I didn't want to be woken._

_During the entire appointment he never looked at me, except for one time. When our eyes met everything around us slowed down and eventually faded away. When I looked into his eyes I instantly remembered him. We had met only once before when I was sixteen years old._

_My best friend, Elizabeth Shades, and I were climbing the old oak wood tree in my backyard. Elizabeth was very arrogant and selfish. She was a spoiled rotten brat thought when it came to being there when someone had a problem she was there for you, no matter what. Besides that it was always about Elizabeth. _

_She was considered the most beautiful girl in Columbus, Ohio. Her hair was a bright and wild red with curls at each end of every strand of hair. When she ran, which was only once, the sun would gleam off of her hair. Her eyes were the prettiest shade of chocolate brown. Those eyes could get her anything or anyone she wanted. Her features were round and very child-like._

_We had gotten to the middle of the tree when she decided to be Mrs. Brave. We were only supposed to go to the middle but she kept climbing. I didn't want to seem like I was afraid so I followed her. We had made it almost to the top of the tree when she suddenly yelled and I lost my footing. I had fallen at least twenty feet. _

_I knew that I had fallen at a very awkward angle. I didn't know much more than that because I slipped into unconsciousness after about three seconds of being on the ground. I remember being picked up by my father and being sat in the backseat of his car. The only thing I remember after that was being awoken by two ice cold hands on my leg._

_When I looked down at my leg I saw the same angel that was treating me then. He didn't look a day older. He still looked exactly the same from ten years ago. Ever since then my mind had been flooded with images of him, whether it was dreams or daydreams, he was always in my head. _

"_Miss Evenson", his beautiful voice dragged me from my thoughts._

_I stared at him blankly as if he had spoken another language, "I'm sorry but I know you. You treated my leg when I was sixteen."_

_He looked down and finished setting my cast, "It seems that I did", and with that he left the room._

_I hadn't even noticed but the angel doctor had performed several tests before he had left. Moments later a nurse walked in and told me that I was pregnant. My body was ice cold when I left the clinic. I knew that I couldn't bring a child in the world around Charles, especially a girl._

_I was home by midafternoon right before Charles got home. I knew that I would not tell him about my pregnancy. I needed to occupy my mind so I began to cook Charles' dinner. I tried to make it as perfect as I could but I knew that he would find something wrong with it._

_He came home drunker than ever and that made me very nervous. He stumbled through the door, throwing his coat on the floor. He then continued to stumble to the table and took his seat. He proceeded to eat his food with a look of disgust on his face. He grumbled that the food was too salty and stood from his seat. He dragged me to our bedroom and began to beat and rape me as always. As soon as he passed out I made my way around the room and began to pack my things. I had made my mind up I was leaving forever. I went to the nearest train station and bought a ticket to Columbus, Ohio._

_My life went on easier after that. I bought an older house and restored it along with a few other buildings. I was soon asked to become a teacher at one of the smaller schools and of course I took the job but I wouldn't begin work until after my child was born._

_A couple months after arriving in Columbus, I gave birth to my beautiful son. Giving birth was very painful. Nothing could have prepared me for that moment but the aftermath was worth it. My little William was absolutely beautiful. He had a bundle of dark black hair on his head and deep green eyes. His little hands would occasionally reach up and wrap his little fingers around my big one. _

_His time on Earth was short though. Three days after his birth he suffered a serious lung infection and he slowly began to die. He was born on March twenty-fourth and he died on March thirtieth."_

I swallowed hard and hid my face in Carlisle's chest.

"You don't have to do this", Carlisle said while wrapping his arms around me.

"Yes I do", I replied hoarsely. I sighed and began again with my story.

_I laid in my bed for only seconds before I decided that I couldn't live anymore. I also decided exactly how to end my life. I was going to go to the cliff that I had passed by many times on my way to the market and into town. The drop was a good sixty foot drop that was going to be far enough to shatter my petite body._

_I slowly made my way from my bed and slipped out the backdoor without any nurses or doctors catching me. I walked and walked until I finally found the cliff. I stepped onto the edge within seconds. I let my toes hang onto the edge of the cliff. I looked around before I jumped to make sure there would be no witnesses._

_I took a deep breath and flung myself off the cliff, letting my body soar through the air. I watched the scenery pass by me in a flash and I saw an older couple watching me fall. I began to panic. Now I was going to die and then the hospital was going to try and revive me but it wouldn't work. _

_My body hit the ground with a thud and then the blackness surrounded me. I was still on Earth mentally but physical was somewhere else. I could hear the voices of the older man and woman, I tried to tell them to just leave me there and let me die but I couldn't find my voice. I was slowly loosing myself mentally as well and I welcomed it._

_I was awoken by a sweet, musical voice telling me that everything was going to be okay. I had heard this male's voice before. Then I recognized it, it was my angel. He was whispering to me that I was going to live, that he was going to change me._

_At the time I didn't know what he meant by 'change' me. I soon figured it out though. I heard a strange fabric moving, was that silk? I suddenly felt Dr. Cullen's warm breath tickle my neck. It was intoxicating but awakening at the same time._

_He told me that I about to become like him, a vampire. My thoughts were racing, a vampire? I thought they were only in fiction stories. Vampires weren't real. Or were they? My mind kept throwing me random images until I finally up two and two together. His cold skin, his strength, his beauty, his grace, his eyes, how he never looked as if he aged any, they all ended with one conclusion, he was a vampire._

_My mind didn't get to access the situation further because I felt Carlisle brush his soft lips against my neck where my vein was. I heard him whisper." _

In reality Carlisle filled in the blank_._

"I whispered, 'Lo ti ameranno e wrap sempre nelle mie braccia, di tenervi sicure dal ombre nelle tenebre per sempre. '"

Nessie looked up at Carlisle bright eyed and beaming, "What does that mean Grandpa?"

Carlisle chuckled, "It means, I will love you always and wrap you in my arms, to keep you safe from the shadows in the darkness forever."

I shivered as he said those words, not because I was cold but because it always seemed to spark a fire in the pit of my stomach. Either way he said it, Italian or English, it seemed to make me yearn to touch him.

Before I could get too out of hand Emmett cleared his voice loudly, "Continue with your story, please", he chuckled but I could tell he was holding back a powerful laugh.

I nodded and continued with my story.

_After he whispered those words to me I felt the air in the room tense as I felt him move slightly closer to the bed. The right side of the bed shifted under the weight of his hand as he pressed his lips back to my neck. HE waited for a few moments then he sank his teeth deep into my neck._

"_I wanted to scream, kick, squirm, anything to get away from this hell. That's when it hit me full force. God had given me a chance to be with my angel one last time before I slipped into hell. I was going to burn for all eternity because I had taken the easy way out of life._

"'_Esme, dear, are you all right', Carlisle's sweet voice broke through my thoughts._

_I had nodded once, "I'm fine", and I smiled and went back to the camera to reload it."_

_Edward had cleared his throat, "Maybe I should take some pictures of you and Carlisle now?"_

_My thoughts started going on the frits again. Carlisle and I had become great friends since my transformation but there was always that longing for something more. It seemed as if I didn't cling to him every second that I would wake up and this would all be just a bad dream._

I paused considering that I didn't want to go into too much detail with my two year old granddaughter even though she was mentally a thirteen year old and had the body of a nine year old.

"You mean sex", a bright eyed Nessie asked me.

My mind screamed at me. Did she just say sex? My little baby already knew about that, "Who explained that to you?"

She giggled, her bell like voice bouncing off the walls, "Uncle Emmett."

I groaned. What had my son told my precious little girl? I knew that Emmett and Rosalie weren't the most appropriate couple in the house but explaining what they did at night to a child was horrifying.

I looked over at Emmett and gave him a serious look and all he did was grin, "Sorry."

I sighed, "We'll talk about it later."

He nodded and I plunged into my story again.

_I knew that I wouldn't be able to stand as close to him as I would like because even if we just barely rubbed shoulders it left like an electric current would rush through my body. I had read many classic romance novels saying that when that happened you had found your love at first sight._

"_I would be honored to take a picture with you, Esme", his deep liquid honey voice said to me._

_I couldn't believe my ears. Carlisle Cullen, every woman's dream man, would be honored to take a picture with me. I was nothing but a broken and beaten down widow. I would never be able to be his perfect match or even come close but he didn't seem to care._

_I moved closer to Carlisle and I could see Edward's face turn up into a grin. I internally yelled at him and myself for falling into his trap. He chuckled softly under his breath and snapped the picture rather slowly._

_Carlisle and I took several pictures together as did Edward and I. After taking the pictures Carlisle went off to work and Edward went to prized piano. I was debating whether to go after Edward and listen to his beautiful music or to go hunting. My throat eventually won the battle._

_I took off into the woods not really knowing exactly where I wanted to go. As I was running I began to think of ways to tell Carlisle how I felt about him. I mean if Edward could see the connection between us then it had to be real._

_As I thought about the ideas of telling him my mind became polluted with the images of his pale, cold lips pressed against mine in a passionate kiss, his strong arms around my waist, and the feeling of running my fingers thought his blonde locks. My only fear was that he didn't feel the same for me._

_My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the faint smell of human blood. My animal instincts began to kick in and instruct me to the source of the blood. I wanted to stop. I needed to stop but I couldn't. The blood was so strong, so mouthwatering._

_I finally reached the source of the delicious smell. What I found surprised me. There in the middle of the woods was a house, a log cabin to be more precise. The walls, of course, were made from logs and in some places, where the logs had fallen out over the years, was cement. The windows were covered in moss and ivory. I was also sure if you were to rub your finger across the glass that an inch of dust would be on your finger. The wooden door was hanging off its hinges and was covered in mold and moss just like the windows. The musty smell from the house didn't mask the delicious scent of human blood._

_I moved to the door without making a sound and opened the door slightly. I could hear the wood groaning in protest but that was only because of my vampire hearing. I didn't have to have my vampire hearing to hear the teenage boys' drunken laughter. Their blood smelled so good but now that I was closer to my target I could smell the alcohol in their system. My motherly instincts kicked in at that moment but only for a second before my animal instincts took over again._

_Without hesitation I tore the rest of the door down and crouched at the entrance of the house. The boys stood from their chairs in a flash. They both looked so frightened but I didn't care at that moment. I looked them over once for the first time and saw that they both looked like Edward. They had his tousled hair, lean and tall bodies, and toned legs. Their eyes were the key point thought. They were a bright green, like Edward's used to be. They were glazed over from fear and intoxication._

_I didn't take another step; I just pounced on the boy to my right easily snapping his neck. The other boy looked at me with shear horror. He opened his mouth to scream but nothing came out. I was glad for that. I growled at him to silence him with he immediately did. I pounced at him and snapped his neck just as I did with the first boy._

_Now that my prey was completely dead, I greedily began to feast upon their blood. Every drop of blood that hit my tongue drove me more and more into my animal self. Their blood was so sweet even if I could taste the alcohol._

"_Esme", Carlisle's sweet honey voice asked from behind me. If was as if he didn't know who I was. As if I went from a beautiful creature to a monster._

_I was suddenly brought back to Earth. I stared blankly at the boys' bodies and I instantly fell backwards on my hands and began to crawl backwards from them as fast as I could. I _was_ a monster and I couldn't hide it anymore. I felt my body being racked with sobs. I had just taken away two innocent lives just like my William was taken from me._

_I don't know how long I sat like that but after a while Carlisle and Edward began to dispose of the bodies. The house was completely silent. Edward began to light the fire and Carlisle quickly murmured a short prayer for the boys. After ripping their bodies to pieces they threw each piece into the fire._

_I couldn't stay any longer. I needed to leave that house now. I stood from my sitting position and ran out of the house. I knew that Carlisle would soon be chasing after me to yell at me and tell me to leave his life forever. I prayed to God that, that wouldn't happen._

_After, awhile I came to a stop at a beautiful pool of water equipped with a waterfall. The water was a deep blue like a million sapphires had been crushed and sprinkled into the earth. I walked to the water's edge to see if it really was water. Slowly I bent down and cupped a hand full of water into my hands. I looked into the water in my hand and was shocked at the image that I saw. I became so frightened that I yelped and threw the water back into the lake._

_I wanted at that moment to erase my memory. What I had seen was not me. That was a reflection of a monster. I'm not a monster. Or am I? The image that I had seen was a woman with beautiful caramel hair and amazing features. Her eyes though were a bright red, her lips were a deep red and coated with dried blood, and her cheeks were a light pink._

_I didn't want to believe it but that monster was me. My entire body felt nasty and disgusting. I sighed and slowly undressed. I would have expected Carlisle to be here by now but he wasn't. I slid into the water and it easily caressed my body. I shuddered at the sudden warmth. I wanted to stay here forever but my peace was soon shattered._

_I heard a sweet voice from behind me, "Esme, what were you thinking?"_

_My nerves shot up again as Carlisle's voice rang through the forest. My first instinct was to cover my body but without any towels I moved to the other end of the pool, "What are you doing here?"_

_Carlisle's fierce face suddenly fell into a frown, "I needed to know that you were okay", I could see the love and compassion emitting from his eyes._

_I felt my guard drop and melt into a puddle at the bottom of the pool. I needed to feel his arms around me, his lips on mine; I needed to tell him how I felt. Period. I slowly swam to the other end of the lake and raised up on my hands, I didn't care about my body right now. I gestured for him to come closer to me and he did._

_He came so close to me that I could feel his breath dance along my skin, "What is it?"_

_I didn't answer him I just close the space between us and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. I could tell that he was shocked by my response but he gladly kissed back with as much passion and love. The feeling of his lips on mine was amazing. It was like an electrical current had bound our lips together._

_He slowly pulled away and cupped my face in his hands, "Esme Platt, I love you."_

"_I love you as well, Carlisle Cullen."_

With those final words I came back to reality and I slowly looked at each one of my family members. I started with Emmett, then Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Bella, Edward, Jacob, Carlisle, and finally little Nessie.

Nessie looked at me amazed and glowing, "I liked the ending to that story Grandma."

"So do I", Carlisle and I said at the exact same time.

It still amazed me how he could send me a glance and my whole body would go into flames. I loved this man with everything I had. My heart, soul, and mind.

We stared at each other for a while and we finally shared a sweet and passionate kiss.

"I love you, Esme Cullen", he whispered.

"I love you as well, Carlisle Cullen."


End file.
